This short Essay on "being in the moment" was published in a magazine last fall...Enjoy
This is an essay I wrote in my journal last fall. I hope you like it.Embracing NowI was feeling under the weather, but not super sick..just kind of yucky. It has been really cold and snowy, which always throws my arthritis into fits. I put my girls down to bed early with a good book, and at 7:30 last night I got in the tub for a nice soak…things never really work out the way a Mama of four plans it, and soon baby Em was crying for me. I had Eldon undress her and put her in the tub with me.I was worn out and Emme was too. I used this safe, quiet moment to talk to her and hold her. I have been trying to wean Emme, she is 15 months old now, and this is the longest I have breastfed, but she has been so tiny….she doesn’t tolerate dairy, or soy….well excuses could go as long as my arm, but *truely* I don’t want to quit nursing because I know she is my last baby!So we enjoyed a warm bath together and while we were snuggling she latched on to nurse. I was smelling her fine, whispy hair and she looked up at me with her huge blue eyes, she blinked them once, very slowly. She brought her tiny little hand up and rested it on my chest, right on my heart..oh! My eyes filled with tears. My heart was filled with love.Sitting in our warm little womb of water, eyes locked, her mouth on my breast and her so tiny hand resting right on my heart…I put my hand on top of hers and just lost myselft in the moment. Children grow up so fast. It is hard to keep it all in perspective when I am so tired from too much work, not enough sleep….but in the grand scheme of things this baby time is so short! During that time in the bath tub with Emme, my heart was about to burst…I love her so much. It felt so good to be there, warm and safe. I knew I could provide everything she needs, and I could keep her safe. I wish life could just stay that way for all of my children….for every Mother’s Child.I love times like these, when I can forget about the past, not worry what the future will bring and just allow myself to partake in NOW…How sweet it is…Love and light to you all